Having a hard time right now. Computer is not working as intended. Like it's telling me, hey let's annoy the marbles out of you by opening a bunch of programs by accidently clicking on them because my hands shake too much and let's constantly remind you that you have to clean up your desktop and that your typing skills suck ass. I feel like I'm pushing myself way too hard here and it's causing me to crash into things. I'm feeling frustrated with myself because, I feel like I haven't tried hard enough. To offer anything to the world.
Remember that last post I made about me doing that twitter drawing daily thing. It lasted one day. ONE. DAY. I'm extremely disappointed in myself but I knew I couldn't do it deep down. I've learned something though: Don't commit yourself to something if you're not going to do it. Don't set a deadline for something when it doesn't come out through in the end. I've done this more times than you can imagine and I'm getting pretty sick of it. From now on, no deadlines, no commitments. The thing that I'm doing will be ready when it's ready.
How do the multitaskers do it? How do the workaholics do it? How do they wake up everyday and power on through like their life depends on it? I have the most respect for you if you make an incredible attempt everyday, learning and striving as you go. Don't give up.
As for me? I don't want to be pathetic anymore. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough. Maybe I need to push harder. Yeah.